Pull up a chair and grab a cup of coffee, because we're about to spend a little time in White Bass Lake,Wisconsin. On this site you will meet the Miller family and get to know the town folks. We will stop in at Sal's Diner and duck flying bits of egg as Sal's lightening fast spatulas churn out breakfast for six in under five minutes.
We might also catch 80-year-old Mary Cromwell pole dancing on a parking meter in her blue sparkly go-go dress and orthopedic shoes (Wait! That might be in the second book...but she does clock a guy with that huge pink purse of hers, drink too much beer and create havoc whenever she and her bright red Crown Victoria blast onto a scene).
Back at Buzz Miller's house, remember to be fast enough to jump out of the way when King Wesley, her 160 pound Newfoundland bounds out the front door tackling anyone or anything in his exhuberant quest for affection, or watch where you sit if Crapper the cat finds new patio furniture in the back yard!
You might say, "Wow. Even the animals are whacked. Is anyone sane in that town?"
While the answer is probably yes, you might have to dig really deep to find one.
Just imangine; amidst all that chaos we get the added bonus of Columbian drug lords, illegal smuggling, a murdered woman, a bumbling, inept constable, a dead horse and the Miller Sisters hot on the trail of a murderer-though some might deem their investigative skills more luke warm than hot!
This wacky combination of bad guys and boneheads brings murder to an all new low in police procedure, but what a wild ride it is figuring out who-dunnit! So fasten your seatbelts folks, and welcome to White Bass Lake, Wisconsin, where the bratwurst is on the grill, the body is stuffed under the house, the Packer game is on the tube, and the Miller Sisters are about to solve a murder.
AND NOW THE BOOK-A SHORT SYNOPSIS
Totally Buzzed is the first book in a series set in the fictitious town of White Bass Lake, Wisconsin. Though "Buzzed" is based on a true crime, that is about where the truth ends and the hilarity begins.
It's just another quiet afternoon in White Bass Lake, Wisconsin . Miller sisters Buzz and Fred argue over who has to squeeze into the crawl space under their mother's house to retrieve an ugly floor lamp which Mom insists she needs back in her living room decor.
Buzz and Fred discover the hard way that the old cowboy boot in the lamp box is attached, not to a lamp pole as was expected, but to the dead body of Mom's neighbor Carole Graff!
While Fred is sharing her lunch with the petunia bed, Buzz, retired detective and Wisconsin's newest member of the AARP, uses her brilliant resources of deductive reasoning to determine two things: that the hole in the middle of Carole’s forehead means she did not walk a half-mile to commit suicide under Mom's house, and someone was going to get roped into helping out on a murder investigation.
Meanwhile, before Buzz can grab the cell phone, Fred-always the level-headed consummate professional-promptly panics and dials 911-immediately throwing all hopes of a quiet investigation out the window.
Roaring onto the scene in a cloud of dust and the stench of total incompetence, flaming nincompoop Constable Ted Puetz is more interested in the brownies in Mom's kitchen than in the body in the back yard. Thank goodness Sheriff J.J. Green is in charge-though his investigative team dubbed Moe, Larry, Curly and Shemp are more like the Keystone Cops than CSI Wisconsin.
Gerry Miller's (Buzz's mother) closest friends all happen to be in possession of most of their faculties and state-of-the-art police scanners, so it soon becomes a blue-haired invasion at the Miller farm as the members of the "Geriatric S.W.A.T. Team" explode on-scene. Vehicles full of beer, bratwurst, green bean casseroles and Jell-O salads, they are armed and dangerous- ready for the day's festivities of a real-live murder investigation-cum-neighborhood Bar-be-que!
Miller sister Mag "The Maggot" begs Buzz to let her help with the investigation, as summer vacation has left the high school Biology teacher at loose ends and murder seems to be the perfect way to fill in her free time. Buzz and Mag find themselves alternately slogging through bits and pieces of evidence, dodging bullets, and scraping whipped cream and pancake off their derrieres while they hunt down the bad guys with the help of a little Irish magic, and a deadly handsome Forensic Botanist who is much more than he seems.
Welcome to the wacky world of the Miller Sisters-Buzz, Fred, Mag, and Al-along with an entire town full of zany characters who will feel like family and leave you in stitches. Grab your cheese hats and get ready for a mad cap adventure of murder, mayhem, and hilarity!
Feel free to explore galeborgerbooks.com, drop me a line and tell me what you think, and look for TOTALLY BUZZED in Ebook in September, 2010, published by Echelon Press!
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